READING GROUP DISCUSSION GUIDE
(Note: Questions may contain spoilers.)

1. Growing up, were you told that quitters never win, and winners never quit? Was that helpful, or did it ever make it difficult to listen to your gut?
2. The four main characters in this book are struggling with some of the biggest areas that often come into question in midlife: career changes, marriage longevity, parenthood paths, and unexpected loss. Which woman’s struggle did you relate to the most strongly? Were there aspects of every character that you could relate to in some way?
3. Lucy is intimidated by the idea of going back to school for her master’s, but strangers are quick to praise her decision, as many of them have also thought about switching careers. If you were to do something different from your current livelihood, what field or job would you choose?
4. Marie likens marriage to politics: “People tended to discuss couples at the ends of the spectrum, the best and worst, but most fell somewhere in the middle.” What marriages in your circle have you thought of in the rare “best” category, and what do you think makes them so?
5. Brooke and Mitch share the emotional burden of trying to conceive, but most of the physical responsibility falls to Brooke, which takes a toll over time. Do you think pregnancy inevitably impacts any given couple’s dynamics? Does it change the balance irreversibly?
6. In an early chapter, Collins says, “If this was one of those novels where characters alternate telling their sides of the story, I bet I wouldn’t even have a point of view. I probably don’t deserve one.” This is a wink to the novel’s actual structure—until the epilogue, when Collins lets the reader see something that the other characters will never know. Did you find yourself wishing she had a POV earlier? Did you ever question, as she did, whether she truly belonged in the pact?
7. A student in Marie’s class quotes her father’s belief that “No is a complete sentence.” Do you agree with him, or do you think that approach is easier said than done?
8. If “How to Say No” were a real course, would you be interested in taking it? What would you hope to learn, or what do you wish you’d known all along when it comes to saying no?
9. Perimenopause is having a cultural moment, with viral sensations like the “We do not care club.” Why is it so important for women to relate to one another at a certain stage of midlife? Or is it always important for women to relate to one another?
10. Has this novel changed your attitude about quitting? Will it make you think twice the next time a friend asks for advice or when you confront your own doubts about a chosen path?